On feeling less than…

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See this plant? It’s a beautiful reminder of a girlfriend…her gifts, her green thumb, her ability to create beauty…all of which I can appreciate.

Appreciating the gifts of others – rejoicing in their strengths – isn’t something that was always easy for me.

Many years were filled with an indescribable longing to have all the gifts; the need to measure up, to fit in, to be the same

Was this insecurity? Perhaps – I hid behind that term at the time. Was it selfishness? Ouch – really?? Was it pride? Lately I’ve been processing the fine line between insecurity and pride…in my own heart it’s barely a line – maybe no line at all.

I had an inability to appreciate the gifts of others because they were gifts I didn’t have… OUCH again. Slowly and painfully, but surely, I’m learning these lessons…connecting the dots…

Comparison breeds insecurity

Insecurity fosters an intense focus on SELF

Self-focus stems from a heart of PRIDE 

This need to have all the gifts prevented me from truly being able to rejoice in the successes and gifts of others. And man, was I ever missing out!

See this plant? I essentially begged for her to help me. Sprout it for me…plant it for me (no seriously, I handed her the pot and ran the other direction!). Where should I place it? (she picked the spot). How do I keep it alive?…Help!! It’s wonderful to ask these questions without feeling like I should already know the answer – without feeling less than.

The women in my life are AMAZING. It’s not just their obvious gifts – it’s also the way they love people, the way they’ve loved me. I’m beyond thankful they exist. Why did I spend so many years feeling the need to be the same? The differences are beautiful…THEY are beautiful.

Can we look at others and acknowledge, “I’m thankful YOU exist – that YOU were created with those gifts”…even when it means acknowledging that we weren’t? I hope so. Let’s not waste another minute.

 

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